Happy March and Happy Women’s History Month to all of the beautiful women out there! Can y’all believe we’re in March already? It feels like we just entered 2021 and we’re in the 3rd month already. Although 2021 started off a bit rocky for me experiencing a miscarriage at 10 weeks and then recently losing my Grandma (lost my other Grandma back in August), I am still hopeful and expecting great things to come in 2021 and beyond. So I want to share a few goals and expectations for 2021 that are on my heart and I pray comes to pass.
In the natural eye, it looks like I went through a stormy season over the past few months. To be honest, it has felt like it. I’ve never lost anyone close to me in my family back-to-back like this so to lose both of my Grandmas has been devastating, to say the least. Both of my Grandmas were VERY special to me and if you hear the moments I had with them, you would understand why. And then, losing a child that I prayed for unexpectedly. This was our second miscarriage and felt like a nightmare especially hearing no heartbeat the week of Christmas and your body miscarrying on New Years Day. And not to mention, being hospitalized for what seemed to be something that was life-threatening ended up being anxiety attacks. I’ve never experienced anything like that before and It literally freaked me out to the point where I had to find healthy ways to manage it and eventually be free from it. I talk about that on my YouTube channel, which you can watch HERE! I don’t want to get on the personal things I’ve dealt with such as being homesick and ready to move, so many closed doors, and other things.
So yes, it has felt like a stormy season but the way my faith is set, I am believing and expecting bigger and better things to come my way soon and beyond. I don’t know what it is y’all but I just feel it in my spirit that things are going to turn around and be better than I was expecting. One thing that I love about God is that He never leaves us nor forsakes us, even in the midst of a storm. If you’re a part of Transformation Nation (Transformation Church), you know Pastor Mike Todd preached on “The Deep” and being Anchored this year. When I say that series was perfect timing when I was going through my storm, my Lord it was perfect timing. So I have been trying my best to stay “anchored” in God’s promises and not look at my storms in a negative light, but it is another part of my testimony.
When I was in the deep end, like literally ready to give up on life back in 2010-2012, He helped me out of my pit and gave me a brand new life and so much beauty for my ashes. And if He did it before, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN! I don’t know when but I’m just believing for bigger and better in 2021 and beyond. So here are a few goals and expectations that I have for 2021:
Keep my priorities in order: My relationship with God, my family and loved one, my mental health and well-being, and more. My relationship with God is very important and dear to my heart. I am nothing without Him. If I don’t start my day seeking Him, my day feels out of wack. Sometimes, I feel bad that I worry so much and struggle with internal fears because that is not the spirit He gave us. So I am working daily on that so I can be the beautiful, bold, fearless, and WISE woman that He created me to be. I am a work in progress but I am loving the woman that I am blossoming into and will embrace her no matter what society or the world tries to say. Whew, she gives me chills. As I keep my relationship with God top priority, everything else that I mentioned will fall into place and I will take of them as I am lead to do.
Take better care of my well-being. This is another major thing that I WILL do especially after being hospitalized. I have been consistently in therapy for 2.5 years and it has been one of the most freeing yet challenging things I’ve ever done for myself. Having to unpack and unlearn things is not for the faint at heart. But it has been freeing and so amazing. So I will continue to seek therapy to keep my mind at ease but also take care of my physical. I guess I never realized how stressed and overwhelmed I was for a while especially when the world shut down last year. I had A LOT on my plate and thought I could handle and balance it all. But it wasn’t a healthy balance at all! So now I am being intentional on my routine, eating better, outsourcing what I can, and really listening to my body!! I got to remember, I’m not in my 20s anymore and I want to live a long, healthy life so changes must happen now!! And if it’s in the Lord’s will for us to have another baby, I want my body to be healthy and not stressed while carrying my baby. Stress is not good for the body!!
Seeking purpose, not just paper. This was something that was on my heart for a while but after this past Sunday’s church message, it was confirmation and a done deal for me. Back in January, I celebrated my 10-Year Bloggerversary. I have been actively blogging for 10 years and I made a declaration to OFFICIALLY go full-time with it. I always “said” I was going to go full-time but my faith and work ethics didn’t match up. I felt lost, lacked knowledge about the blogging/influencing industry, was depressed because EVERYONE was working with my dream brands and making a living that I always dreamed of and so much more. It wasn’t until I had a come to Jesus with myself and Jesus to figure out what was my reason for doing what I was doing. Was it just to create content for the heck of it, was it to have a lot of followers or be known, was it just to make money?
Like I was just lost and confused about this journey. I realized that it was a part of my purpose in life and I just need to tap into it more and be confident with it. So right now with my brand, my focus is strictly on tapping into my purpose for my platforms. Then from that, the opportunities and “paper” will follow soon after. Although I do have financial and platform goals in mind because we are on a financial/debt freedom journey, I have to keep my mind focused on my purpose and everything else will fall into place. Honestly, that’s how it has been for me this whole time. I put out content with value and authenticity, and I get opportunities which is a blessing. But then it came to a point where I lost the passion because I wasn’t doing what everyone was doing, I didn’t look like everyone or have the big houses and luxury like we see online. But I believe in my heart that I was called to pursue this full-time. I have to walk this thing out confidently, be myself, keep showing up for my beautiful community and see what happens from there.
Live every day to the fullest and take nothing for granted. We will probably be talking about 2020 for a while but man 2020 taught me so many life lessons. So many about life in general, about being present and in touch with the people He has blessed you with, about our health, taking nothing for granted. Although the pandemic heightened my anxiety, I have to stop living in fear and taking this blessing we call life for granted. Life may not always be fair and I may not be where I want to be yet, but there is beauty in every day that we’re blessed with. I am blessed, I am healthy, my husband, kids, family, and loved ones are healthy. I am protected, well respected, I’m a queen, I’m a dream..LOL oops, I love that song hahaa. All jokes aside, there is so much to be grateful for and I really need to appreciate what I have and where I am. Life could be so much worse but I thank God that He keeps us protected, healthy and provides for us abundantly in ways I couldn’t imagine. So I have to stop taking life for granted and truly enjoy every day to the fullest.
I can go on but I know you have things to do today. I wanted to share that in case you’re going through what seems like a tough season in your life. THINGS WILL GET BETTER! You have to keep pushing day to day in spite of and believe that better is coming your way. I’ve never experienced grief like this before so I am still trying to navigate it in a healthy way. But like I mentioned earlier, I just feel that beauty for my ashes will come and things will get better because I believe it will. And I want you to believe as well, no matter what. God’s got you. Are you going through a tough season? What are some things that you believe or hoping for in spite of?