Hey loves! I want to share something that was on my heart. I want to share with you all why I love being a stay at home mom finally. This journey has been a journey! But I am finally at a place where I am embracing it and I accept it wholeheartedly. It took me a while (which is why I said finally) to feel like this for a couple of reasons. I never went without a regular job. When I received my worker’s permit as a teenager, I always had a job. I worked my butt off because I wanted to save up for things and take care of myself. I had my mom, of course, to take care of me, but I wanted to take responsibility for things that I desired as well.
When I became pregnant in 2013, I knew I was going to work until I was due to have my daughter. At least I thought. Over time, I started to feel extremely overwhelmed and stressed at work. I was in Graduate School at the time and my commute was 45 minutes. There were a lot of days when I had to pull over on the side of the road to vomit. And let’s not forget the late night studying. During that time, my husband and I moved into our new home as well. But something in my spirit didn’t feel right about the stress that I was dealing with on a daily. The last thing you want to be is stressed while pregnant. It is not healthy AT ALL!
I kept getting this feeling within telling me to leave my job and stay at home. At first, I was in denial because I love to work. I work and save for what I want. Honestly, being without a job AND a child on the way didn’t sit well with me. Well, I kept getting confirmation after confirmation. I cried out to the Lord to make sure that I wasn’t going to make an emotional decision. When I mentioned it to my husband, he was very supportive of my decision. He even mentioned that he wanted me to be at home raising our kid. After another confirmation. I decided to put in my notice and stay at home. Once I did that, I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders. Whew.
At first, it wasn’t that bad at all. I was busy preparing our home for our baby girl, I was able to focus on my studies and go on campus earlier to study. If you didn’t know, I was blogging as a hobby back in the day. So I decided to focus on that again. I even started a YouTube channel out of nowhere. I used to go on YouTube to listen to music, look up hair tutorials but never thought that I would start one. But I felt in my heart that was something I was to do so I did it and almost 5 years later, I’m still doing it.
Once my daughter was born and I got the hang of taking care of her, I wanted to go back to work. Don’t get me wrong I LOVED taking care of my baby girl and being at home with her. But I am the type of person that has to stay busy and occupied or else my mind tends to wonder. I started applying for more government jobs (the job I left was a federal job), jobs pertaining to broadcasting, journalism and etc. I was putting in applications daily for months. Denial after denial after denial. So many No’s. A few interviews here and there but they chose a better candidate. After the 20th denial, I started to feel depressed.
My husband was bringing in the money at the time. But being depressed and having anxiety made me feel like I couldn’t do or bring in anything because no one wanted to hire me. Doctor bills, school finances, and other stuff started piling up. I mean I was legit depressed that I started to regret leaving my job. But I knew in my heart that I was supposed to so why did I feel like this?
Fast forwards two years later, I was able to work part-time jobs to bring in something. I worked with my sister at her business and I started to become more consistent with my blogging and YouTube. With my blog and YouTube, I have been able to work and collaborate with various brands and companies. I have met awesome people from the internet that I follow. It is something that I love and am truly passionate about even to this day. To be honest, it does get discouraging at times. I know that I don’t have all of the followers and subscribers in the world. I’m sure that is why I haven’t mastered being a real “social media influencer” yet. I will one day though! But I love being myself, sharing what I love and know about hair, skin, motherhood and etc.
#Randomvent I truly believe in quality over quantity. That’s why I want to grow my following organically. I want my followers to truly support me and believe in me. I don’t want to be famous or anything but I want to be great and do what I truly love, which is blogging and content creating. And being a Stay At Home/Work From Home Mom has given me the opportunity to do that.
I’ve listened to a lot of success stories online from people who worked and then quit their jobs to pursue their hobby full-time. They were making enough money with their hobby that they were able to make a full-time living. But that wasn’t my story. I didn’t just take a leap of faith like them. I didn’t just up and quit my 9-5 because I was profiting from my side hustle. Shoot, I didn’t even know you could make money online back then. For real, I felt lead in my heart to quit but not to turn my side hustle into a full-time job. That may be everyone’s story but that isn’t mine. I don’t know why God lead me to quit my job but years later, I’m not making as much as I was working full-time. #sigh
I don’t even know for sure what I am doing or to do at this point. Heck, I took plenty of leaps but haven’t seen much fruit from it yet. One thing I do know and have is faith…that all of this will make sense one day because He who begins a work in me will complete it (Phillippians 1:6).
I knew there was a reason that I was supposed to be at home. But I didn’t know it would take me years to finally accept it. Heck, or even make any kind of money from it. I may not be making the kind of money that I was making before staying at home but I refuse to give up on this. Being a blogger/influencer is what I honestly love and it will become my full-time job.
Now that I expecting Baby #2 next month, I am praying that my passion will become a full-time thing for me. Lord’s willing, I will gain more business opportunities and step up my networking skills. I desire to surround myself with like-minded or business-minded individuals.
I can continue to do what I love and continue to raise my babies while watching them grow every step of the way.
To be honest, I am still unsure of the future. I still am not working my dream job or bringing in tons of money. For real, I don’t what is to come and why things happened this way. But I can finally say that I am happy it happened this way. I love what I am doing with my blog and channels. I love seeing my daughter (and my son when he’s born) grow from day one and being present for all of their milestones and accomplishments. Maybe this is what God had in store for me. Who knows? Things can only go up from here and I am only praying for the best!